The "Happier" Conclusion

We are almost at the end of the semester and hopefully it was my last semester in Sabancı University. "Communication and Conflict Management" is one of my last lectures that I have had in my university life. This course is unique and essential to me because it is a bit different than the lectures that I have had in my earlier semesters. Most of the courses are solely focused on limited areas that are about managerial aspects of business life.

MGMT 450 can also be applied on every single moment of our lives and I think it has been an eye-opening experience. Perhaps I am not fully equipped or ready to use the materials that I have learned yet but it was a start point at least. I have really got interested in these subjects and I will try to learn more about them.

I want to thank my lecturer and my friends in class. I have learned various things from each of them and I wish a "Happier" life to everyone. 

Power that Result From Partnership

We have had a journey into the emphatic world recently. The healthy connection discussed early leads to also another essential realm, partnership. The collaboration and cooperation in every aspect of life can be used to get power in order to meet needs. This is called 'power with' and it is the exact opposite of 'power over' which means possessing an authorial order over people to achieve goals.

'Power over' is a reason for getting away from our real selves. It is the obstacle for empathy and connectedness. 'Power with' is an ease for our nature and pure tool in order to fulfill of self.   

The Key is Empathy

People are social creatures and they are interacting with each other all the time, so they need to speak and they need to be listened. This communication might be just for a relief or about a problem to solve. The common reactions are motivating, advising or consoling after the conversation but before these actions we must remember that we have to connect to the other person's world.

The key of the other person's world is empathy. First of all, we should listen carefully and then, we are ready to receive the person emphatically through conscious communication. We can respond with acknowledge of the situation and understanding the person's feelings with the need that is the reason for that feeling. Finally, we can ask for his/her requests.

Conscious communication is the indication of effective listening and sincere care which result in a tight connection. As a result, now our actions can be received more easily. 

Shield for Enemy Fire

We do experience destructive interactions with others often, and as a result of this disconnection generally three responses are performed that never help to fix the problem totally.  We might choose to flee and avoid the person in front of us or maybe we freeze and do not know what to react. Sometimes we fight back and the consequences get even bigger. However, there are not helpful to construct a healthy communication, even the person in front of us does not try to be helpful for it.

It is the fact that we all have the key in our hand to open and enter the other's world or ours easily. This is the necessity for a conscious communication and the process consists of four steps.

OBSERVATION - The action/event that we are observing at that moment

FEELINGS - Emotional responses for our observation

NEEDS - The reasons and sources of our feelings

REQUEST - The polite asking to enhance the quality of the moment

If we follow these steps, we shall hold a very powerful shield for enemy fire and have an important chance to upgrade our relationships.

Let communications be conscious and disconnections become connections!